Relationship triage is an alternative way to prevent self-death or to motivate in any situation. You do, in fact, make a difference.
It’s time for a new theory that states that people influence others.
How to Use Relationship Triage?
Focus on 1) Why and Cause, 2) Externalize everything, 3) Strengths (of person), and 4) Actions and Solutions to take to change the Situation.
It is the situation, circumstance that is temporary, environment, external hardships, and other people’s influences which should be focused on. Externalizing means to have the person focus outward, instead of internalizing. It is not the person’s fault. Finding out “Why” is the beginning of turning the focus by finding solutions to the problems. You hit points of strengths – e.g., what is great about a person and what can be done – instead of weaknesses. Motivationology involves encouragement and rewards, not punishment.
What would convince yourself to not die? What could convince others? Use your influence. Don’t just refer to religion, or to “get help” (which truly isn’t), or that they’re loved. These are typical responses. These responses don’t change the situation to remove external or influential problems. Look for future action. Make sure they know not to blame themselves, or that it is rightful injustice for them.
– Defend them against others if they try to bring them down. *It is important to be the person who fights back.
Remind them that it is temporary and that there can be change. This increases resilience. Situations change, and memories dull over time. Point out ways to focus outward, and on what can be done for solutions, not inward.
Focus on a person’s strengths. What are the reasons behind a person’s outlook and/or situation? What can be done to change it?
If the situation cannot be removed, can you change the focus, and be the influencing person who points to the strengths, as well as possibilities?
– What are other people doing wrongfully toward them? Is it a harmful situation? Is it adversity? Is it society? Is it economic? Environmental? Outside pressures? Is it barriers or hindrance of self-fulfillment?
- Focus on mentioning and pointing to their strengths, how they benefit others, themselves, and the world. Turn problems into opportunity. Reflect hopeless thoughts with positive or useful thoughts. They should know that you see their worth as a person.
- Focus on solutions to problems, and actions which can be taken to solve it. Focus on the future. Say let’s solve this problem and here are the actions a person can take to do so. If the situation cannot be removed, focus on being that influencing person who points out strengths or steps to other beneficial choices. You can use this influence to possibly affect how the person reacts to the problems or sees them.
- The best solution is to remove the oppressive environment.
- What are their reasons? What is the cause and what is the cause’s effect? There are reasons behind all thoughts and actions. Find out these reasons and work to reflect them in a different way, one which is solvable. Understand their reasoning with empathy or sympathy. However, flip the situation around to possibilities. Think of ways you get motivated or find satisfaction, and try to get them to try them out as well if it suites them. Remember action. Think of possibilities and opportunities. Often, what a person takes in environmentally is motivating or interesting.
- If you are online, this could present other challenges, but you may be able to see if they follow through with advice. Follow up with them. In-person, this may be easier.
- Externalize. Make certain that they know that the problems are environmental, relational, or societal, and not an inner problem or due to themselves. Don’t let them blame themselves, yet focus on that they make choices for results to change the situation. They can change their outlook, and press on them over time to change the reactions. Toleration is not the goal, but changing the situation to remove outside and external problems. Motivationology is not internalizing or introspective. Changing situations can take months or longer at times. If the situation is economically or socially impossible to change, continue to work on steps to decrease them or other goals which bring satisfaction.
- Focus on ambitions and goals. Focus on self-fulfillment as the main base. Self-fulfillment is having satisfaction in life and going for wants, dreams, achievements, or goals. If a person does not have dreams, you can work toward goals or wishes that will satisfy them. Ultimately, it’s their choice to have goals.
- Focus on activities and interests which appeal to them. Interests and activities are great motivators and ways to feel satisfaction by giving self-fulfillment, even if momentarily. They can serve as distractions. Further, interests and activities can replace the former memories with new memories which are beneficial. They also can be enjoyable, increase skills, use intellect, or provide physical improvement. This capitalizes on actions and solutions. It puts power into their own hands.
- Realize when more attention is needed and when it is not needed. The beginning is the most necessary for the most attention, and whenever you can see the person is low. When they are low, press on more strengths and externalizing points. Remember relationship triage method. They have to do activities and interests to give self-fulfillment or distraction, as well as socialize with other people than only yourself. Focusing on solutions to change the environment will improve their views. Not one person can do all.
- See them as an independent, self-determined person, and you are there as a motivator to influence them. They have their own dreams, hopes, and goals. If they don’t want to focus on dreams, then focus on reflecting the negatives with positives, weaknesses with strengths, and goals that anyone can have. They have free will and choices. What actions to take?
- Maintain your contact with them, continue to point out strengths and positive traits, and work on the solutions to any problems. Continue to reflect hopelessness or helplessness with doable actions and solutions. It is most empowering to suggest ways that the external problems can be removed. If a person is highly negative, you can only reflect what you can. However, it’s all useful. The person will notice, and could want to spend time with you. That is a sign that it worked.
- Try to see what the results are through observation or feedback, and change your methods to see what is the best influence.
Use a Motivationology, or a self-reliant, external, proactive, view and focus. Use your influence. Focus on being opportunistic and proactive, yet also realistic to deeply delve into the problems, perspectives and solutions. It’s important that the person tells you their problems on a deeper level. It’s all about reasons or motivation for actions and thoughts. Further, the outside influences.
In quick review, the Relationship Triage Formula is:
Reasons, Why? + Externalize + Strengths + Reflect Negative with Opportunity + Solutions + Actions + Goals + Self-Fulfillment + Time = Relationship Triage
Basic: Reasons, Why? + Strengths + Externalize + Solutions/Opportunity/Actions + Time
Where does the Relationship Triage phrase come from?
“Relationship” states that you are influencing the other person, and therefore making a difference through this external factor. “Triage” means in the medical field to figure out who needs the aid first, why, and where they should go next. In this non-medical use, triage means to analyze and decide what is the most important, what to emphasize, the course of action, and what to give attention to. You see what points you should hit. It’s an analogy.
Similarly, you can use relationship triage to know when to focus, what to focus on, and who to focus on.
Why Should Relationship Triage Be Used?
Currently, there is a cultural belief that individuals cannot prevent self-death, or that they can positively benefit people through motivation, and to give all control over to “professionals” or programs. Endlessly, it is always “shocking” in media articles when someone dies. There’s a false interpretation that it has no causes and no external causes. This paradigm should shift. In fact, prevention starts whenever a person is low or in trouble, not when it has gone to the furthest point. Therefore, Relationship Triage can be used in all circumstances where there are problems. It’s an alternative theory.
You influence other people through your actions, speech, points that you hit, course of action, and emphasis. Similarly, the environment and situation also affects people.
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